Dementia and Friends: Helping Me to Still Be Me

How would you explain dementia?

20161021_154008We’ve used the umbrella example previously in which “dementia” is said to be an umbrella-type term for symptoms (such as the loss of memory, judgment, language, complex motor skills) with the specific types of dementia falling underneath the umbrella (such as Alzheimer’s, vascular, dementia with Lewy bodies, Parkinson’s disease dementia, frontotemporal dementia and many more).

This time, we wanted a new approach to help the Lady-Links in their understanding of how to maximize their visits with our dear friends who have dementia, so we used the varieties of Oreo cookies as an example of something that is different but somewhat the same.

20161021_152657The Oreo cookies are similar in their shape and design, but very different in their makeup.  Somewhat like dementia don’t you think?  Confusion, cognitive decline, memory loss are some of the similarities of dementia but the way the disease begins and progresses can be quite different.

20161021_152717

We’ve learned that things don’t always stack up evenly when looking at the types of dementia, so we are flexible in what we plan for each visit to help each dear friend feel valued, loved,and appreciated.  As a result, understanding the type of dementia each of our dear friends has and her  stage of progression in that type of dementia should influence our choice of activities.  And it does.  With some dear friends we engage them in crafts.  With others it’s music or games or show and tell.  We know that one-size doesn’t fit all, and that each dear friend’s visit needs to be designed for her specific interests and abilities.

Understanding the types of dementia helps us to understand our dear friends better.  If our dear friends could tell us how they feel, we know that they would want us to help them continue to be themselves, not letting the dementia dictate who they are.  The following poem expresses how we think our dear friends with dementia feel….

DEMENTIA:  DIFFERENT BUT SOMEWHAT THE SAME

By Dennie Lindsey

(a poem representing thoughts of our dear friends with dementia)

We look different

yet we’re somewhat the same.

And we’re so thankful that you know us more

 than just by name.

You understand our many faces,

our moods and what we fear.

Yet you treat us with respect

and even call us dear.

You’re quick to acknowledge

that one size doesn’t fit all.

And you make such an effort

to be at our beck and call.

Some of us are sleepy

others are wide awake

Yet you’re able to meet each need

at every visit you make.

You know that we’re different

but we’re the same in this one way.

We want to feel that we’re valued

and you affirm that by what you do and say.

So, thank you Lady-Links

for taking the time to see

that dementia comes in various forms.

Yet you’re helping me to still be me.

Different, yes,,,, but similar because according to Psalm 139, each one of us, including our dear friends,  is fearfully and wonderfully made.  Let’s continue to treat one another with value and dignity regardless of cognitive ability and to find ways to help each of  our dear friends be able to say, “I’m still me.”

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