We enjoy celebrating patriotic holidays with our dear friends, those ladies in our retirement community who are in various stages of cognitive decline.  Recently, we prepared crafts that reflected our nation’s commitment to honor our presidents.  Historically, the recognition focused on our first president, George Washington, with a federal holiday designated on his birthday, February 22.  In 1971 the date was moved to  the third Monday of February and current thinking is to honor all presidents, both past and present.

We’ve celebrated Presidents’ Day the last several years with crafts, activities and parties, and it’s always a joy to see the smiles on the faces of the Lady-Links and their dear friends as we talk about the privilege we have of living in America.

Much of our sharing involves family, faith, food, and fun as well as stories about our favorite presidents and our favorite first ladies.  One of our Lady-Links was in the second grade when President Harry Truman made a stop in her hometown.  He came up behind her and pulled her pigtails! She was used to boys pulling her pigtails, but never a president!!!

We remember speeches, picnics, and flags flying high.  A few of our dear friends remember the first president ever to receive their vote.  Some of our dear friends have visited Washington D.C. and can share memories about visits there, especially when prompted with open-ended questions. Our patriotic themed visits always bring an abundance of smiles from both Lady-Links and our dear friends!

 

Lady-Links:  Where the Smiles Never Stop

 

The Lady-Links love to have fun with their dear friends, those ladies in various stages of cognitive decline.  Preparations for special events or holidays always provide opportunities for good times, and Mardi Gras is no exception!  One of the things that our retirement community does in concurrence with Mardi Gras  is to make available a space for everyone to create masks, hats, and other decorations to use in the celebration.

For most residents, this is no problem, with lots of choices available adding to the fun. However, for those with dementia, too many choices in a room with lots of noise and activity can be overwhelming.  That’s where the Lady-Links come in!

We wanted our dear friend to have all the fun of decorating a hat but without becoming confused in the process.  Here’s how we did it.

• We limited the choices by selecting the hat, three colors of feathers, two types of flowers, a few coins and beads.
• We brought those items to a quiet location, away from the room where the rest of the activity was occurring.
• We categorized the decorations into groups and allowed our dear friend to show us where she wanted them placed.
• We dabbed a spot of glue on the hat and helped her place the item she chose.

The result was totally her creation….we just managed to make it possible!

Any holiday celebration can be managed so that your loved one or friend with dementia can participate and enjoy the activities.  Management is the key word.

• Manage the location:  make it quiet.
• Manage the supplies:  limit the choices.
• Manage the skill level: make it easy for her to do as much as possible.
• Manage the time: keep it short for maximum engagement and participation.

Mardi Gras Fun

Lady-Links:  Enriching Lives through Love and Laughter

As Lady-Links, we visit dear friends in our community.  A dear friend is someone who is in cognitive decline, including anything from short-term memory loss to a full diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or some similar type of dementia.  We’re in our seventh year of visiting dear friends, and we’ve learned how to have a visit that is successful, both for our dear friend and for us as Lady-Links.

In our training sessions for those ladies who wish to become Lady-Links, we have information that we give them regarding what to do during the visit with a dear friend.  We call these the four C’s of the Visit:

Cheerful – smile

Conversation – positive

Childhood Memories – always a good topic

Conclusion – Give a “warning” that the visit is about to end.

1.  Cheerful

Always smile from the moment you walk in to the moment you leave.  A smile makes our dear friends feel relaxed and confident that the visit will be pleasant.

2.  Conversation – keep it positive

Yes, there are things going on in the world that are of concern, but a Lady-Links visit is not the time to discuss world affairs.  Keep the conversation positive and encouraging. Focus on the activity, not the outside world.

3.  Childhood Memories – always a good topic

Let the project or the activity inspire conversation.  We’ve learned that “first (memories) in are last out” from our training with the Alzheimer’s Association.  In other words, your early childhood memories are some of the last to leave your memory.  Talk about things you did as a child.  We’ve found great topics of conversation to include

• things our mothers taught us (how to cook or sew)
• items of clothing we wore (hats, gloves, dresses)
• chores we did as kids (dusting, sweeping, washing or drying dishes)
• things we did in elementary school (recess activities, special activities such as decorating Valentines’s boxes and Valentine card exchanges)
• toys we played with or games we played (dolls,Tinker Toys,  jacks, Red Rover, Mother May I, “playing outside until dark when the street lights came on” )
• our neighborhoods (riding bikes or playing hop scotch with neighbors)

Conclude the visit with a warning

Have fun during the visit with lots of love and laughter.  But when the hour is almost up, give some kind of warning such as “well this has been so much fun but we only have time for one more …(story, game, activity, craft, etc.).  Let them know that the visit is about to come to an end.  Reinforce the idea that there will be another visit next time (next week) but today’s visit is about to come to a conclusion.

Say good-bye and let them know how much the visit has meant to you.

In our training sessions, we practice how to have a successful visit using the 4 C’s, and we look for ways to assure our dear friends that we are their friends forever. This type of assurance brings comfort and security to our dear friends who know that they have friends who care.  This is also very comforting to the families of our dear friends to know that we are in partnership with them to bring joy into their loved ones lives as long as is possible.

As a result, there are benefits for the spouse or family of our dear friends such as knowing that a team of ladies sincerely care about their loved one and are devoted to bringing love and laughter to help enrich their lives.

Lady-Links: Linking Love, Laughter, and Life

There’s lots of love to go around at our Lady-Links visits!  We love what we’re doing, we love our dear friends, and we love spending time with our Lady-Links partners.  Plus, we love to give away the crafts that we make to those who might need a little “love” in their lives!

Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to make cute projects that will spread love wherever they are distributed. Each Lady-Link contributes to the assembling of these crafts and in helping our dear friend have a significant role in the project too.

Love brings joy into our lives in many ways.  It’s always a blessing to share love and find joy as a result!

Lady-Links:  Enriching Lives with Love and Laughter

We have fun at our Lady-Links visits with our dear friends who are in various stages of cognitive decline. We choose activities for our visits that they enjoy and that will promote a feeling of well-being.  This type of interaction (friends doing something enjoyable together) or socialization( as it is officially defined) is very important for all of us, but especially for those who have Alzheimer’s or other similar types of dementia.  Plus it’s fun!

Some authorities in the field of Alzheimer’s say that social interaction is like exercise for the brain and can slow symptoms including deteriorating memory.  We agree.  The more we visit, the more our dear friends engage in what we’re doing including conversation.  We want them to feel a sense of inclusiveness and belonging, and our activities are chosen with that in mind.

The Lady-Links make every effort to involve our dear friends in assembling a craft by working together to complete it.  As we work, we let the craft inspire conversation that we think will spark a memory for our dear friend.

Often our crafts have a patriotic theme because we have several patriotic holidays.  Looking at the craft, we relate memories that involve the flag, stars, and the red, white and blue color pattern.  We share memories of saying the Pledge of Allegiance when we were in school and singing our national anthem. Some of us have stories to share involving parades, fireworks, and parties.  Once a Lady-Link shares a memory, our dear friends are prompted to share something similar.  This type of conversation (with prompts) has been successful, and the families of our dear friends are amazed that their loved ones respond so well.

Lady-Links visits help our dear friends continue to find joy in friendship when that is becoming more and more difficult as their disease progresses.  This “exercise for the brain” is a tremendous benefit of the social interaction process because it helps our dear friends  engage in conversation and feel a significant part of a group experience. Socialization is important for all of us (including the Lady-Links) and is part of a healthy lifestyle.  Plus we have fun!!!  (Did I already say that?   Well, it’s worth repeating!) We have fun!

Lady-Links:  Enriching Lives through Love and Laughter

 

The Lady-Links program completed another successful year of visits to our dear friends, the ladies in our community who are in various stages of cognitive decline.  We are thankful for the opportunity to enjoy time with these sweet ladies, developing friendship bonds and meaningful relationships. Reflections from the past year help us in our planning for the future, and we hope to improve our program each year.

Our Training Program

This year we increased our training to include extensive sessions regarding:

• an overview of Lady-Links,
• educational information regarding types of dementia,
• methods of  successful engagement of those with cognitive issues.

Our Outreach

Each Lady-Link makes a significant contribution to the overall success of our program through her compassion, dedication, and love.  Our group has grown in numbers with 47 active Lady-Links and with more ladies wanting to be trained.  In addition, a program called Dear Friends which is based on Lady-Links has been established in a sister retirement community. We are thrilled at this growth both within our program and with a new similar program off to a great start.

Our mission to enrich the lives of our dear friends through love and laughter continues to be the focus of our visits.  We look forward to the new year, stronger than ever in this commitment and thankful for the support of family, friends and our retirement community neighbors and staff.

Lady-Links:  Linking Love and Laughter

This holiday season was a “wonderful time of the year” for the dear friends the Lady-Links visit in the memory care section of our retirement community. With a little help from family and friends and the wonderful staff who support us, we had a Christmas party that was enjoyable for everyone.  We made a few modifications from the Christmas party we had last week with our dear friends in various stages of cognitive decline who live in the independent living section.  Although different approaches, the outcome was the same:  a wonderful celebration.

At both parties, we had Christmas music, activities, and refreshments.  The difference was that for our memory care residents we had

• a smaller gathering
• less noise and activity
• easy to handle refreshments, and
• a shortened time frame.

We chose familiar Christmas songs and carols, played by one of our dear friends with help from a Lady-Link.

 We shared memories of our childhood Christmas seasons, with responses made easier because we gave  prompts in the form of topics:

• Special foods associated with Christmas (fudge was a common one)
• Favorite toys we received (dolls were a favorite)
• Activities centered around the season (decorating the tree, wrapping presents, shoveling snow, making snowmen and igloos)

Christmas cookies were served.  They were much easier to handle than cake.

We saved time for one-on-one conversation with plenty of laughter!

Party favors were a big hit!  These ornaments were made prior to the party by the Lady-Links and their dear friends who reside in the independent living section of our community.   Additional ornaments were distributed after the party throughout assisted living and memory care.

 

Our celebration was successfully accomplished in a brief time frame of about 45 minutes.  Making modifications with activities, refreshments and time helped everyone enjoy the party.

 The Lady-Links are always thankful for husbands and families who help us enrich the lives of our dear friends.

Merry Christmas!

Lady-Links celebrate Christmas and the holiday season each year with a party.  Included guests are our Dear Friends and their spouse or family, our Lady-Links and their spouses, and staff members from our retirement community.  The purpose is to celebrate the season with an event keeping in mind what our dear friends in various stages of cognitive decline will enjoy.  We include delicious refreshments, making ornaments and singing familiar songs within a time frame of one hour.  This makes for a stress-free, delightful time that benefits everyone.

Enjoying Refreshments

Making ornaments to distribute to the residents in our memory care and assisted living neighborhoods.

Singing familiar Christmas carols and holiday songs.

A picture of our Dear Friends and their Lady-Links who were in attendance.

Awarding Lady-Links pins to our newest members.

Taking a special moment to recognize the husband of our very first dear friend whom we lost several years ago.  He has continued to support and encourage our Lady-Links program and hosts our Christmas party each year. We are grateful for his encouragement and for his leadership in our community’s Alzheimer’s awareness events.

In memory of our first Dear Friend.  It was for this precious lady that Lady-Links started.

What inspires you to feel thankful?  Is being thankful even possible when circumstances don’t warrant a thankful response? Is thankfulness dependent on happiness?

According to some familiar songs, there are some things that will make us happy:

• Ella Fitzgerald lets us know that walking on the Sunny Side of the Street will make a difference.
• Judy Garland tells us that if we can get on the other side of the rainbow we’ll find happiness.
• Andy Williams sings that it’s the season that makes it the happiest time of the year.

But what if we find ourselves on a rainy day when neither side of the street is sunny,  there’s no rainbow in sight, and we’re not in our favorite season of the year?

The Lady-Links have found an answer to those difficult questions through working with numerous families of loved ones diagnosed with various types of cognitive decline.  We believe that being thankful is a choice we can make, and we’re supported by a very important resource…the Bible!  We find in I Thessalonians 5:18 that we’re to be thankful in everything.

Developing an attitude of gratitude depends on our mindset, not our circumstances.  We’ve seen countless husbands/families of our dear friends who lovingly give of themselves 24/7 and they are thankful for the opportunity to do so.  Many of them will say how their loved one “was there for them” for years and it’s a privilege now to be able to “be there for her.”

As Lady-Links, we arrive at each visit with a loving, caring, positive and uplifting attitude.  We choose to be grateful for the opportunity to spend time with our dear friends, focusing on what they can do rather than what they can’t do.  We give plenty of smiles and encouraging words as we engage our dear friends in activities they enjoy.  We know that thankfulness isn’t limited to one holiday or even to one season of the year.  With Lady-Links, thanksgiving occurs at each visit we make.  

 It’s a blessing to be a part of such a loving, caring group that makes thanksgiving a year-round event!

When we first started Lady-Links, we had one dear friend we visited.  There were eight Lady-Links on her team who visited her in groups of two or three. As we have expanded both in the number of dear friends and the number of Lady-Links,  we are thankful that our basic mission has remained effective:  to engage our dear friends in activities they enjoy and can successfully complete.

Each year, new ladies are trained to become Lady-Links. Since we began, over 1,975 Lady-Links visits have been made, representing 5,925 hours spent at visits.  This does not include the hours spent in training, scheduling, preparation work or planning.  We view each hour as an investment in love because we place significant value in each friendship we’ve made through our Lady-Links program.

The original components of our visits have proven successful, but our experience has taught us that new ideas need to be incorporated to continue to keep our program effective.  We’re thankful that our Lady-Links recognize that new ideas can be incorporated with our original goals to provide benefits for everyone.

We are thankful for new ideas in the areas of:

• Training – We have increased our training to include more updates about brain development and the aging process.
• Visits – We have improved our scheduling procedures incorporating new technology that is available. We have streamlined our choice of crafts and activities that make it easier for our dear friends to participate with success.
• Communication – We are initiating a process of  reminding Lady-Links of their upcoming visits by appointing a Call Captain for each team.
• Support – We have established, with the help of our retirement community, a way for donations to be made to Lady-Links to help cover the costs of our supplies and activities.

Our Lady-Links are thankful to have the opportunity to visit their dear friends and are always looking for new ideas to improve what we do.   As a result, we have a collaborative team searching for innovative ways to enrich the lives of others.   Thankfulness for opportunities to help others and being open to new ideas to enhance what we do…that’s the spirit of Thanksgiving and what Lady-Links are all about!