We enjoy our visits with our dear friend who previously was a middle school music teacher and gave private piano lessons to people of all ages.  Our visits used to include five or six Lady-Links gathered around her Steinway piano playing the resonator bells, using the sheet music she prepared for us. We played old favorites and  Christmas and holiday songs, singing and harmonizing while our dear friend accompanied us on her piano.   Those are wonderful memories for us that we treasure.   However, we’ve realized that sometimes change is needed in the way we structure our Lady-Links visits.  

Such is the nature of Alzheimer’s, a progressive neurological disease that requires change in the way we do things.  With our Lady-Links visits, we have chosen  to embrace change and make adjustments that will continue to enrich the lives of our dear friends.

In her new setting with the necessary changes we’ve incorporated,  we continue to enjoy her amazing piano skills and the variety of music that she entertains us with from the classics to an impromptu rendition of Chopsticks!  We don’t need the resonator bells, their pages of sheet music, and the amount of Lady-Links required to cover the sequence of notes.  All we need is our dear friend, her new electric piano and a few of us to have a delightful musical afternoon.

What matters most is that our dear friend is engaged in an activity she enjoys and can successfully accomplish.

There’s a saying that summarizes how we feel when we visit this dear friend,

“Music is a piece of art that goes in the ears straight to the heart.” 

Music, love and laughter have joined our hearts together and all our lives are enriched as a result.

Making greeting cards with a summertime theme was a great way to spend a summer afternoon with our dear friend.  Our “Hello Summer” cards will be given to residents in the Memory Care and Assisted Living areas of our retirement community just to let them know we’re thinking of them.

Making the cards was an enjoyable visit for our Lady-Links and our dear friend, prompting many memories from when we were kids involved in summertime fun!

We shared memories of playing games such as Hide and Seek until it got dark.  Our dear friend described the sandbox she had as a little girl and the fun she had in it.  We laughed as we sang the “Summertime, Summertime, Summer, Summer, Summertime” song.  That’s all we could remember…no one could remember any more of the words!

Making and giving away our summer crafts and cards makes us feel good, knowing that we’re delivering some of our love and laughter into the lives of others.  Hello Summer!  Hello Love!  Hello Laughter!  We’re having a great summer and hope you and your loved ones with cognitive issues are too.

 

We have great news to share!  Another retirement community is duplicating our Lady-Links program.  A resident from there visited us to see how Lady-Links works.  She felt her community would benefit from our model of making friendship visits to residents with dementia. After her visit here, she presented an overview of our program to her administrators and got approval to use it.  We are thrilled to see Lady-Links duplicated.  They will make some modifications to fit their specific community, but the basic idea remains the same….friends visiting friends in various stages of cognitive decline, engaging them in activities they enjoy.

Our ideas for how we plan and organize our visits can be found on this website.  We hope you will scroll back through past posts to get more information and consider starting your own version of Lady-Links.  Here are some ways our program can be used:

• This model of friendship care visits can be used with men who have dementia; just change some of the activities to those that appeal to men and call it Buddy-Links.
• The people visiting a friend with cognitive issues can be both men and women; just change the name to Lasting-Links.
• A family might want to use this model to organize the grandkids, great-nieces and great-nephews to visit an elderly family member; just change the name to Little-Links.
• A church can easily apply this model for serving its members.
• The Lady-Links model has worked with our friends who are diagnosed with various types of dementia. It is our opinion that their communication skills and social skills have improved since our visits began (within the context of their disease).

The key to starting your own version of Lady-Links is to find a group of friends/relatives/community members willing to make regularly scheduled visits, then

• –Identify someone to select activities and projects to be used at each visit.
• –Identify someone to keep the group updated and informed.
• –Recruit members from the medical, pastoral, and social services fields to serve as your support team to offer insight and advice
• –Ask for training from your state or local associations on how to communicate with those who have cognitive issues.
• –Set a schedule for the visits.
• –Begin the visits.

Before long, you’ll see results as the socialization makes a great difference in the lives of those dear friends you visit.

 

 

The dear friend’s life will be enriched in areas of self-esteem, communication, social interaction.  The dear friend’s family benefits from knowing that someone cares about their loved one and is helping to prevent isolation and withdrawal.  The Lady-Links themselves benefit from new friendships and seeing the obvious results of their time spent.  It is a win-win situation for everyone.

Our idea is simple and there is nothing to buy.  This website is a great resource for you to use to get a Lady-Links type program started.  Hope you will share what you’re doing and let us know how Lady-Links has been an inspiration to your program.

Lady-Links:  Enriching the Lives of Others through Love and Laughter

 

On these hot summer days, it’s great to bring the sunshine inside where it’s cool! At our Lady-Links crafts visits with our dear friends in various stages of cognitive decline, we often choose  projects that are related to the current season.  The “You Are My Sun Shine”  door hangers were fun to make in a nice cool location while the outside temperatures soared upward, close to the hundred degree mark.

Not only did we “beat the heat” but the sunshine craft inspired plenty of great conversation about summertime activities.  We discovered that as children we did many of the same things even though we grew up in different regions of the United States.  We played outside with our friends and most of the time, we stayed out until the street lights came on!  There were shared memories of games, swimming parties, sunflowers and picnics.  We have found that our dear friends can remember events from their childhood and enjoy sharing them when prompted.

This particular craft inspired us to sing “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.  You make me happy when skies are grey.”  We sang it all the way through and even included the second verse.  Our dear friend  harmonized on parts of it, and we learned that she has a beautiful singing voice.  What a wonderful surprise that was!

There are many ways to let the sun shine through our lives by bringing happiness to those around us. “You make me happy when skies are grey.”  Living with any type of cognitive decline or dementia certainly qualifies as “grey skies.”  It’s our goal as Lady-Links that we bring a little sunshine with us to each and every visit. As we do that, the day, no matter the weather,  is brighter for all of us!

 

 

 

Our Lady-Links visits have benefited our dear friends in various stages of cognitive decline because we make it a priority to stay informed about Alzheimer’s Disease and other related types of dementia.  We know what to expect and how to react.  Much of our information comes from the Alzheimer’s Association and their bureau of highly trained speakers who present programs.

Our Lady-Links visits to our dear friends in various stages of cognitive decline are as friends, not as caregivers. Our focus is on socialization which helps prevent boredom, a major trigger for expressing dementia-related behavior.

We do this by engaging our dear friends in activities they enjoy and can successfully complete.

We select the activities based on feedback from their families.  We want to know what our dear friend enjoyed before her cognitive decline began.  Some of our dear friends enjoyed crafts.  Others enjoyed book clubs, playing a musical instrument or games.  From that information, we plan our visits accordingly. We make modifications as needed, helping to keep our dear friends engaged.  Boredom is not an issue, so that trigger for dementia-related behaviors is eliminated.

We’ve found that socialization enriches the lives of our dear friends.  They interact, respond, and engage in positive ways.  The families tell us that on afternoons after our visits, their loved one maintains feelings of self-worth and happiness for a period of time, which usually doesn’t occur on non-visit days.

Keeping connected (linked) is what the Lady-Links do best!  We help our dear friends remain connected to their world around them promoting a sense of belonging and accomplishment.  This is a benefit for all concerned.  We are thankful that each of our lives are enriched through friendship visits to these dear, sweet ladies.

As a child, did you ever walk in your home after school to the smell of freshly baked cookies?  I did.

Today, the smell of cookies baking still brings back wonderful memories to me of those afternoons so long ago.

As Lady-Links, we look for creative ways to engage our dear friends in activities that inspire conversation and interaction.  To do this, we sometimes think of ways to use our five senses to help our dear friends keep connected to the world around them.

The sense of smell is closely linked to memory.  A whiff of baked goods or  perfumes or flowers can promote wonderful childhood memories.  When the sense of smell is used as a stimulus at our visits, we’ve had several conversations about the cologne our mothers used or the scents we remember from childhood at Christmas or other special holidays. The sense of taste provides opportunities to share about memories of special meals or even of our first cooking or baking experiences.

For the sense of touch and sight, letting our dear friend hold the object helps.  They can feel the texture and weight of the object.  They can see the shape and design.

Each Lady-Link will briefly talk about the object she brought, using guided discussion questions to help promote a memory or a connection with our dear friends.  Hearing a description of the item while holding it is a great prompt to help remember something similar.

We’ve learned that these show-and-tell types of visits can work wonders in providing links to special memories.  At one of our visits, a Lady-Link brought pieces of jewelry given to her by her grandmother and aunt.  Memories about jewelry transitioned into how we used to wear hats and white gloves to church and other dress up events when we were children and even young adults.

Special pottery, items from a garden  or even a picture can spark memories.

 

We can never understand the full connection of the five senses on the brain, but we know it’s there and it’s powerful.  Opening a music box with a familiar melody led to dancing!  What a joyful surprise that was!

How can you use the five senses to promote interaction between you and your friend or loved one with dementia?  You’ll never know until you try!!

 

 

A pot of tea, a laugh or two

Special times, shared with you.

 

Remember having tea parties when you were a girl?  We would get our dolls together around a little table and serve them “tea” from tiny tea cups!  We pretended we were fancy ladies at a tea party, and we would let our imaginations guide our afternoon of fun.  Those were the kinds of memories we shared with our dear friends when we made crafts with a teapot design.  These dear friends live in our retirement community and are in various stages of cognitive decline. We visit them once a week engaging them in activities they enjoy and can successfully complete.

The Lady-Links delight in engaging our dear friends in activities that inspire conversation, shared memories, and laughter.  This teapot craft was great for doing just that!

Following instructions, one step at a time, helps our dear friends with their cognitive functioning and gives them a sense of accomplishment when they see the finished product. We always have a completed craft to use as a guide and reference point. With each of our dear friends, we keep their skills and abilities in mind when choosing the craft or the activity.  As a result, our visits are enjoyable for all of us!

Tea for two…or three…or four….but no more!  We visit in groups of two or three as we don’t want to overwhelm our dear friends with too many people.  Is there a “dear friend” in your life?  Why not share a cup of tea with that person while you visit?  Just remember to include plenty of love and laughter when you do!

Memorial Day and other patriotic holidays provide opportunities for celebrating our great country with our dear friends.  Making crafts or decorations with a red, white, and blue color theme along with stars and stripes helps us get into the spirit!

As we complete the crafts and decorations, we talk about how we celebrated these special days as children.  Fond memories of picnics and displaying flags are common in our conversations along with describing dressing in red, white and blue clothing.  Some of us remember special red or blue bows or barrettes our mothers put in our hair.  Some remember attending parades and other festivities.

Most of our dear friends are unable to attend parades or picnics any more, so our visits are a way to help them engage in celebrating our country and our military in ways in which they can be an active participant.  Since we give the completed crafts to the assisted living and memory care units in our community, our dear friends feel they are helping others in their celebration of these special days.

Lady-Links….linking love, laughter and patriotism as we celebrate living in America!

 

 

 

As Lady-Links, we value our friendships with the dear friends we visit who are in various stages of cognitive decline.  That’s why it is so important to understand the changes in their ability to express themselves.  Our training as Lady-Links includes effective communication strategies with those who are experiencing symptoms of dementia such as memory loss and confusion, but we are always open to additional information.  We are fortunate that our retirement community brings to our campus such organizations as the Alzheimer’s Association to help us in the process of continuing to have meaningful communication with our friends regardless of cognitive ability.

We know that communication with our dear friends takes place mainly in several ways:

• Verbal (Spoken)
• Non-verbal (Body Language)

We keep our verbal communication

• Positive, encouraging and uplifting
• Personal, using their name frequently
• Productive, focusing on memories from the past rather than recent events
• Short, using step-by-step instructions when giving directions.

Our non-verbal communication is just as important, perhaps even more so.  At each visit we

• Smile
• Nod
• Give hand gestures
• Give hugs or pats on the shoulder or arm when appropriate
• Make eye-to-eye contact
• Give visual clues
• Treat our dear friends with respect and love.

As a result, our communication with our dear friends is successful.  This helps them to actively engage in social activities, adding additional meaning and purpose to their lives.

When we encourage communication through appropriate verbal and non-verbal means, we find that our communication encourages and enriches the lives of our dear friends.  And, as always,  plenty of love and laughter are always included!

 

As Lady-Links, we want to help our dear friends in various stages of cognitive impairment stay active and engaged.  Completing craft projects together is a fun way to achieve that goal.

In addition to the pure fun of it all, with plenty of love and laughter thrown in, we’ve found that our craft visits help our dear friends to

• Make emotional connections
• Feel engaged
• Promote memories.

Making Emotional Connections

We realize that it is important for those in cognitive decline to maintain interests and relationships, so we visit them in their apartments in groups of two or three.  That way our dear friend isn’t overwhelmed with too many faces at one time.  The Lady-Links are trained in ways to communicate, knowing that as the disease progresses each dear friend will experience more difficulty expressing thoughts and emotions.  By using positive, friendly body language along with giving our dear friends time to process what we’re saying, our visits provide friendship bonds that are meaningful to all of us.

Feeling Engaged

Many of our dear friends are hesitant to join in large group activities because the pace may be too quick or the instructions aren’t broken down in a step-by-step procedure.  The Lady-Links offer clear, step-by-step instructions, along with a team approach to making the craft.  We often use the “assembly line” approach working as a team.  Any difficult task is quickly assigned (without being obvious) to one of the Lady-Links on the “assembly line” while we make sure that our dear friend is on the “spot” in the assembly line that requires a skill level within her capabilities.  That way, everyone is engaged and contributes to the success of the overall project.

Promoting Memories

The Lady-Links focus on the process of working on the craft.  It doesn’t matter how many projects are completed…what really matters is the process.  We let the craft inspire conversation, talking about what the craft reminds us of especially referring to childhood memories.  We’ve found that our dear friends who have short-term memory loss can usually remember activities and adventures from their childhood or young adult days.  We promote those memories by sharing one of our own and encouraging our dear friend to make a connection.  We’ve been successful by using familiar words and phrases, describing events that most of us have in common (such as celebrating holidays) and by well thought-out questions with an occasional word prompt.

The Lady-Links are compassionate and friendly women who  spend time in training, working to create a successful visit, that will benefit everyone.  As a result, friendship bonds are formed, enriching all of our lives.