When Lady-Links was organized in 2013, we did so for the purpose of being a blessing to a sweet lady in our community who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease.  We thought that we would be “giving” encouragement and positive benefits to her life through engaging her in activities that she enjoyed.  Little did we know that the “blessings” would be both ways….that we would receive as much or more than we were giving.  Although that sweet lady passed away last year, her legacy continues as we visit other sweet ladies (we refer to them as dear friends)  engaging them in activities that add meaning, value and joy to their lives and to ours as well.

A bushel, in case you’ve forgotten, is equal to 32 quarts, and a peck is equal to 8 quarts.  Now, whether you’re measuring apples or blessings,  that’s a whole bunch!  When Doris Day sang, “I love you…a bushel and a peck… those are measurements that the Lady-Links understand.

Lady-Links can say for sure that a “bushel and a peck” of blessings flow both ways!

The completed “Bushel of Blessings” door hangers will be given to our retirement community’s Pastoral Ministries Director to distribute during Sunday afternoon vespers.  As a result,  “a whole bunch” of people will be blessed!  Visiting your friends or loved ones with any type of cognitive decline can bring a bushel and a peck of joy to their lives and yours as well.  Try it, you’ll like it…and so will they!

Each year our community schedules a walk  to raise funds and awareness for the prevention, treatment and eventually a cure for Alzheimer’s Disease.  This year, heavy rains dampened everything but our spirits!  The only difference was that we walked inside rather than outside!

We had more participation than ever,  and we exceeded our goal for the amount of funds we hoped to raise.

We had plenty to celebrate…

• the funds we raised
• the commitment our community has to visiting those residents who have Alzheimer’s
• the awareness of Alzheimer’s within our community through support groups, presentations and programs
• the support our community gives to the caregivers and families of those who have Alzheimer’s

There are many ways you can make a difference in the lives of those living with this disease.  Our Lady-Links group does it all….we visit, we walk and we give. We encourage you to do the same.  Together, we will make a difference!

What a wonderful celebration it was! More than 50 people attended our 5th Anniversary Party to acknowledge the results that are being accomplished by the Lady-Links through friendship visits to their dear friends who are in various stages of cognitive decline.  The Lady-Links, their friends and family, and members of our community staff were invited guests.

Our retirement community administrative team brought greetings, recognizing the positive impact that Lady-Links have made.  The executive director presented each Lady-Link with a custom designed lapel pin with a heart at its center and wording that reads, “Lady-Links Care. Linking Love.”  Those pins will be a keepsake to be worn and treasured.

In the five years since Lady-Links was organized, 55 ladies have been trained as Lady-Links serving 15 dear friends. Over 1,525 visits have been made, representing 4,575 individual hours.   Activities include assembling crafts, playing games, baking cookies, enjoying musical activities, making cards, having show and tell conversations, and celebrating special events and holidays.

Lady-Links are not experts on cognitive concerns, but they don’t need to be.  They are experts on being friends because they know how to enrich their dear friends’ lives through love and laughter with meaningful activities.

Families of the dear friends are generous with their praise for Lady-Links.  They notice better social skills, improved mood, and an increase in their loved one’s quality of life.

Lady-Links are looking forward to their sixth year as they continue to give and receive love from the dear friends they have come to consider as family.  Love is a precious commodity… the more the Lady-Links give it away, the more they get it back.  Lady-Links:  Linking Love, Laughter and Life!  That’s the Lady-Links goal for the years ahead.

 

Lady-Links is about to celebrate a Fifth Year Anniversary of visiting ladies in our community who have some type of cognitive impairment.  A look back at our Fourth Year Anniversary Party holds some special memories.

Precious memories of those we lost this past year but will always love….

We are looking ahead to another year for Lady-Links to give and receive joy through these visits to our dear friends we have come to love so much. Love is a precious commodity…the more we give it away, the more we get it back.   Lady-Links would agree with Tennyson who wrote, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Our retirement community embraces Lady-Links as a valuable resource for inspiration and information regarding how to interact with those who are in cognitive decline.  We are a solid presence in Health Fairs and Volunteer Fairs, and we are grateful for the opportunity to share our story about Lady-Links.

However,  being “up front” as a resource didn’t come quickly.  It came as a result of several years of successful visits to dear ladies with cognitive impairment.  Those visits are filled with love and laughter, bringing improved quality of life to the sweet ladies we refer to as “dear friends.”  Although each visit lasts about an hour, it represents hours of work in preparation.  Here’s a behind the scenes look at what it takes to make a successful visit.

TRAINING

We are knowledgeable in how to work with and communicate with those who have memory loss and cognitive issues.  Our training focuses on making the visits successful by engaging our dear friends in activities they find meaningful and will enjoy.  We discuss strategies that work and how to correct those that don’t work.

PLANNING

We schedule our visits two months in advance and select activities that have significance to the dear friend we’re visiting.

PREPARING

We enjoy a variety of activities with our dear friends including assembling crafts, playing games, baking cookies, enjoying musical activities, making cards, having show and tell conversations, and celebrating special events and holidays.  If something needs to be cut or glued or mixed ahead of time so that things go easily at the actual visit, we do that work in advance.

We spend hours of time looking for crafts to purchase that are easy to assemble.

If we can’t find an appropriate craft to purchase, we make our own.

The behind the scenes work contributes to making the visits successful, but the real keys to success are the actual Lady-Links themselves.  They are friendly and compassionate, dedicated to engaging their dear friends in activities that will add meaning, value and joy to their lives.

Because even as women, we are “girls” at heart who know what’s important to us…  and it’s important to have fun!  Lady-Links make fun things happen at our visits with our dear friends who are in various stages of cognitive decline.  We believe that enjoying life as best we can (regardless of cognitive ability) adds meaning to each day and provides a lot of other benefits as well.  Having fun reduces stress, puts us in a better mood, gives us a boost, and promotes happy relationships.

Lady-Links want to provide an enjoyable time filled with fun for our dear friends when we visit them.  We supply an atmosphere in which these two important concepts are easy to embrace:

1. Happiness blooms from within rather than from our circumstances. (Remember, the circumstances surrounding a person losing their cognition can be rather discouraging, even frightening.)
2. Living simply, laughing often and loving deeply provide hope and inspiration that can help prevent loneliness and despair.

We can choose to find happiness regardless of circumstances, and we can choose to live our lives sharing love and laughter with others.  Just because a person is in cognitive decline or even diagnosed with some type of dementia such as Alzheimer’s, doesn’t mean that they can’t have enjoyable, meaningful relationships.  It just means that they may need a little help in finding those relationships and in remembering how to have fun.  That’s where Lady-Links step in! We can provide activities that engage our dear friends in laughing, loving, and finding happiness in spite of their circumstances, even if only for an hour.

Fun celebrations such as birthdays help stir positive memories for our dear friends and provide a bit of frivolity at the same time.

Living with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia is a difficult assignment for both the one diagnosed as well as her family.  Choosing to participate in activities that are fun can help lessen anxiety and irritability and can help her feel connected.

So whether it’s a “birth” day  or just a “plain” day, find ways to put fun into it and watch as everyone feels happier, laughs more often and loves more deeply than before. At our Lady-Links visits, we typically play games, make colorful crafts, sing songs, bake cookies and celebrate special events.  We even talk about things our mothers told us not to do that we did anyway (now that’s fun!).

 

So…why do girls wanna have fun?  Ask the “girls” who are Lady-Links and they will tell you why….”It’s fun having fun!”

 

We had such fun at one of our Lady-Links visits engaging a dear friend with dementia in talking about travel adventures.  One of the Lady-Links brought a scrapbook filled with pictures spanning several years of travels prompting our dear friend to talk about several excursions she made when she was younger.

We all shared similar memories of visiting the mountains or the oceans or even visiting foreign countries.  Many of the scrapbook pictures prompted our dear friend to make comments about her own experiences.  The pictures were lovely and certainly produced many fond memories in each of our lives.  One picture stood out, however, and we all questioned its validity.  It was of a bird with blue feet.

The scrapbook owner assured us that such a bird existed and was named the “Blue-footed Booby” which prompted laughter from the others of us there, including our dear friend.  The Lady-Link scrapbook owner even brought a carving of a blue-footed booby to enhance the picture that was taken when she visited the Galapagos Islands.

We decided that apparently such a bird does exist and that such a funny name for a funny-looking bird was appropriate even though it made us laugh.

Want to share photographs with your friend or loved one who has dementia?  After all, pictures do make communication easier.    Here’s some tips we have found helpful:

• Look at the photos together, don’t just hand it to her to go through by herself.
• Select several (not all) photos to describe.  Don’t overwhelm with a long description…just a few words will do.
• Have an object that she can hold that will make one or two of the pictures more meaningful.  (Such as the wood carving of the Blue-footed Booby.)
• Share your own impressions about what you’re viewing with the intent of linking to  something to which she might relate.
• Make it an enjoyable experience by following her cues as to what to focus on and know when to stop.

You’ve heard the saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”  We have found that if a picture inspires just a few words or even just a smile from our dear friends, then it is well worth it.  May your pictures inspire love and laughter from your loved ones or friends with dementia as they do ours.

 

 

 

 

When the Lady-Links visit our dear friends with dementia, a two-fold successful experience is the goal.  We want the visit to be enjoyable for everyone as well as provide a way that each dear friend becomes engaged in whatever activity we have planned.  Playing the card game Uno each visit with one of our dear friends is the answer for her.  She loves it and so do we!

She needs a little help sometimes with dealing the cards if she loses count, but she can manage it. Dealing helps maintain hand-eye coordination, and she feels capable and successful each time she performs the role of a dealer.

Card games stimulate cognitive function,  and Uno is no exception.  To play the game, you have to match colors and/or numbers plus you have to follow directions when a wild card or action card is played.

Although there is no cure for Alzheimer’s at this time, there are benefits to staying mentally active.  Activities in which a person with Alzheimer’s can contribute by being a valued member of a group provide a sense of success and accomplishment. Their emotional outlook improves, and they often retain their cognitive function longer.  Isolation can lead to depression and despair whereas enjoying a small group activity provides positive feelings that tend to linger after the event has ended.

To select an activity which will be beneficial for your friend or loved one with dementia, consider the suggestions we have used to plan for our Lady-Links visits:

• Try to determine what activities she did as a child or young adult and select one of those or something similar.
• Keep the activity simple.  Sometimes modifications need to be made.
• Focus on enjoyment, not keeping score.
• Be flexible…be encouraging…and laugh.

Just remember….don’t let your reason for being there get lost in the shuffle!

Laughter is often described as “good for the soul” and as a “good medicine.” Lady-Links find that laughter during our visits to our dear friends with dementia is a way to connect…to link to shared memories and events that we once enjoyed.

 Some of our visits involve completing craft projects, and it is during those times that our conversation becomes sprinkled with laughter as we take off on “tangents” that the craft inspires.

For example, as we’re assembling this project we talk about how it looks like a traffic stoplight.

It’s supposed to look like a traffic stoplight, so that’s good that we can identify it as such even though it has a faith based message.

Stop – and listen to God

Slow – make time for God

Go – God’s way everyday

After we talk about the meaningful message of this craft (which, by the way, will be given to our community Pastoral Ministries Director to distribute during Sunday afternoon vespers service), we follow the tangent of traffic….to what kind of cars our parents had when we were kids…to when we were teenagers learning to drive and finally to crazy adventures we or others had when we were driving.

We laugh as we identify ourselves as a “Ford family” or a “Buick family” or a “Chevrolet Family” and someone else says “me too” or “no way!”  We laugh as we remember close calls we had as teen drivers or driving adventures we had that we were glad our parents didn’t find out about! We laughed when one of us told the story of a relative who didn’t have a drivers license who was so hungry for a hamburger that she “borrowed” the family car, went to the local drive-through burger joint and ran into the side of it knocking the entire drive-through part down.  The owner of that burger joint was a family friend who (after damages were financially covered) offered to home-deliver a hamburger anytime this person wanted it if they would only promise never to drive to their place again!!!

Laughter from conversation tangents is by far “the best medicine” ever and is easily and freely dispensed at our Lady-Links visits.

It was Walt Disney (according to the internet) who said,

“Laughter is timeless.

Imagination has no age.

And Dreams are forever.”

The Lady-Links would certainly agree with Walt because we find that our dear friends (who have such difficulty in the daily tasks that dementia forces upon them) can still laugh, imagine and dream when we get together for a visit.

 

 

When Lady-Links make visits, they want to engage their dear friends in activities that will stimulate conversation about pleasant memories.  Sometimes this is done with crafts or games.  However for some of our dear friends, the best way to stimulate interaction is through an activity we call “Show and Tell.”

Bringing a picture or the actual object about something we think will interest our dear friend is a way to help her make connections to a similar experience from her past.

Show and Tell is fun for the Lady-Links as well as for our dear friends.  It is an opportunity to learn something about our pasts, find connections, and engage in meaningful, delightful conversation.

This type of activity allows us to engage in storytelling, something we all enjoy.  Each object has a story behind it, and we find that these stories strengthen friendships, encourage bonding, and activate cognitive information that may have not been accessed for a while but is still there.

We have found it best to keep the stories short and simple, including only a few details and descriptive words. We always try to think of a specific way that our dear friend might have done something similar to what we’re sharing in our story.  Then we help her make those connections by using open-ended questions, usually about her childhood, and prompting her with any clues she needs to contribute to the conversation.

We all have stories to tell and objects that would represent those stories.  Why not use the Show and Tell method to share some of your stories with your friends or loved ones with dementia? They would benefit from it and so would you!