As Lady-Links, we visit dear friends in our community. A dear friend is someone who is in cognitive decline, including anything from short-term memory loss to a full diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or some similar type of dementia. We’re in our seventh year of visiting dear friends, and we’ve learned how to have a visit that is successful, both for our dear friend and for us as Lady-Links.
In our training sessions for those ladies who wish to become Lady-Links, we have information that we give them regarding what to do during the visit with a dear friend. We call these the four C’s of the Visit:
Cheerful – smile
Conversation – positive
Childhood Memories – always a good topic
Conclusion – Give a “warning” that the visit is about to end.
- Cheerful
Always smile from the moment you walk in to the moment you leave. A smile makes our dear friends feel relaxed and confident that the visit will be pleasant.
2. Conversation – keep it positive
Yes, there are things going on in the world that are of concern, but a Lady-Links visit is not the time to discuss world affairs. Keep the conversation positive and encouraging. Focus on the activity, not the outside world.
3. Childhood Memories – always a good topic
Let the project or the activity inspire conversation. We’ve learned that “first (memories) in are last out” from our training with the Alzheimer’s Association. In other words, your early childhood memories are some of the last to leave your memory. Talk about things you did as a child. We’ve found great topics of conversation to include
- things our mothers taught us (how to cook or sew)
- items of clothing we wore (hats, gloves, dresses)
- chores we did as kids (dusting, sweeping, washing or drying dishes)
- things we did in elementary school (recess activities, special activities such as decorating Valentines’s boxes and Valentine card exchanges)
- toys we played with or games we played (dolls,Tinker Toys, jacks, Red Rover, Mother May I, “playing outside until dark when the street lights came on” )
- our neighborhoods (riding bikes or playing hop scotch with neighbors)
Conclude the visit with a warning
Have fun during the visit with lots of love and laughter. But when the hour is almost up, give some kind of warning such as “well this has been so much fun but we only have time for one more …(story, game, activity, craft, etc.). Let them know that the visit is about to come to an end. Reinforce the idea that there will be another visit next time (next week) but today’s visit is about to come to a conclusion.
Say good-bye and let them know how much the visit has meant to you.
In our training sessions, we practice how to have a successful visit using the 4 C’s, and we look for ways to assure our dear friends that we are their friends forever. This type of assurance brings comfort and security to our dear friends who know that they have friends who care. This is also very comforting to the families of our dear friends to know that we are in partnership with them to bring joy into their loved ones lives as long as is possible.
As a result, there are benefits for the spouse or family of our dear friends such as knowing that a team of ladies sincerely care about their loved one and are devoted to bringing love and laughter to help enrich their lives.
Lady-Links: Linking Love, Laughter, and Life
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