Thanksgiving is exactly that…giving thanks. But how do you do that when circumstances aren’t so great? As Lady-Links, we’ve learned that gratitude is an attitude we can choose. We’ve found many reasons to choose to be thankful when visiting our dear friends, and we are encouraged to see that our attitude of gratitude sets the tone for the entire visit.
The dear friends we visit each week are in various stages of dementia. Their lives and the lives of their families and caregivers are forever changed. Yet, we see something good and positive each time we visit one of these precious ladies. Why? Because we believe that what we are doing is beneficial, and we choose to look for something, no matter how small, to recognize as an area for which we can be thankful.
After all, what’s the result of not choosing gratitude? It’s ingratitude, and that’s the first step down a road of bitterness, sadness and discouragement. And what good comes from that kind of thinking? Here’s several reasons the Lady-Links have found for giving thanks:
As we work together on a craft or a project, we help our dear friends feel a sense of belonging. We’re all a part of something that we’re doing together! And that’s a reason to give thanks! Everyone contributes to the finished product.
Our crafts are given away to others, so we help our dear friends feel a sense of altruism. That’s just a fancy way of saying that it feels good to give something that will bring happiness into the lives of others. Our dear friends understand that and feel good that they are involved in purposeful activity.
We share stories and memories of Thanksgivings past. Delicious feasts…with all the trimmings…how we helped our mothers in the kitchen. This promotes a sense of connection between us, and we find ourselves laughing as we describe our attempts to make pumpkin pie or stuff a turkey. Or even try to remember the Mayflower and the activities we did as children to mark the history of this occasion. Our dear friends are able to share in this type of communication because we are careful to talk about memorable events in the past…not what happened recently.
In other words, we focus on what we can do rather than what we can’t do. We can still love and laugh, and we can still enjoy friendship. And that’s the best part of thanksgiving! Being together!
Thanksgiving can be tough on families of those with Alzheimer’s and related dementia. They need our encouragement, thoughts and prayers. If you know such a family, how can you be a blessing in their lives? Your offer of a visit to their loved one just might be the thing they need most to put them in a thankful mood when circumstances around them seem bleak. Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be celebrated just one day a year. Let’s make it a lifestyle event!
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