We all want to enjoy healthy living for as long as we can.  Research supports the idea that good relationships are a part of healthy living.  Because the Lady-Links know that connecting with others can help with mental and emotional well-being, our weekly visits to ladies in various stages of cognitive decline are designed to engage these dear friends  in enjoyable activities.  In addition to what we have seen firsthand, research has found that there are cognitive benefits from having enjoyable social interactions for those with Alzheimer’s and other related types of dementia.

Our visits are designed to be enjoyable for our dear friends and for our Lady-Links.  We form sincere bonds of friendship that promote positive social interaction.  We realize that Alzheimer’s and related dementias are progressive, but we also have seen evidence of short-term spikes of cognitive ability during our visits as we engage our dear friends in activities.  Our trained Lady-Links know how to encourage communication by asking the right types of questions or prompting memories through our teamwork in games, crafts, music, show and tell activities or special events.

Good relationships established through our friendship visits are part of a socialization process that benefits all of us. The researchers know that and the Lady-Links do too!

 

 

 

 

 

Two training sessions are required for ladies who want to become Lady-Links.  The first session deals with the basics of our Lady-Links program, plus information on dementia, and concludes with tips for successful communication with someone in cognitive decline.  The second session covers specifics on the visits we make, including what is expected before, during, and after the visit.  We incorporate the best of training techniques with technology-based learning, instructor-led interactive sessions, coaching/mentoring, printed materials, and role playing to make our training meaningful, inspirational and fun.

Our training was improved this year with the addition of an 11-minute video on “Understanding Alzheimer’s and Related Dementias” which was made by the Medical Director of our retirement community.

The video explains that dementia is a general term for symptoms like decline in memory, reasoning or other thinking skills.  Alzheimer’s is a specific brain disease that accounts for 60-80% of dementia causes.  Other types of dementia are discussed such as vascular dementia and Lewy Body dementia.  The stages of Alzheimer’s are included as well as documentation of  the importance of socialization in the lives of those with dementia.

Happy Talk, a presentation that targets verbal and non-verbal communication among friends, explains that the goals for Lady-Links who interact with their dear friends are very different from the communication goals that a family member or caregiver would have.  Our focus is on engaging our dear friends in enjoyable activities….we are not responsible for feeding, clothing, or basic daily living skills….so our training in communication is geared toward how to “celebrate the joy of conversation” by keeping what she can do, not what she needs to do, in mind.

Our training includes time for questions and answers, and time to hear insights about our program and the visits we make from current Lady-Links.

With role playing on Do’s and Don’ts of communication, how to engage our dear friends in making a craft or play a game, and how to socialize with our dear friends when we see them in and about our community apart from our visits….well, our training covers a lot of ground!

Each new Lady-Link is scheduled for dear friend visits with other current Lady-Links who serve as  mentors through the first several months.  Additional training occurs throughout the year through this website and with the speakers on cognitive issues our community schedules.  We have great support from our community’s Administrative Staff, our Medical Center, and our Resident Life Staff.  Our program is about to complete 9 years of enriching the lives of our dear friends with love and laughter from the compassionate ladies who are called “Lady-Links.”  Thank you Lady-Links for the joy you bring to others.

Only love can account for 28 ladies braving an ice storm with wind chills down to 5 degrees to get together to make over 150 valentines to send to residents and dear friends in our continuing care community.  Full disclosure ….no one walked outside to get here… but nevertheless, if the truth were known, we have plenty of Lady-Links who would have tackled snow, sleet, ice or rain if needed.  That’s how strong the bonds of friendship love are between the Lady-Links and their dear friends, those ladies in our retirement community who are in various stages of cognitive decline.  But the worst we had to “tackle” was wearing masks due to continuing COVID restrictions.  The masks cover up the big smiles on all our faces but you can see the smiles in our eyes.

Our craft coordinator had all the supplies arranged for creating 150 unique valentines to share.  Each Lady-Link added her own creative touches, choosing from some 500 + pieces to come up with original designs.

What began in pieces became masterpieces.

Lots of talking, laughing and love are always a part of our events and visits.

 

It was a LOVELY time, despite the weather, because there was plenty of LOVE to brighten any day!

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Despite Icy Weather

The Lady-Links’ Love Shines Through

 

 

 

It was the best of times …it was the worst of times…but the Lady-Links took every possible opportunity to enrich the lives of their dear friends during the past two years regardless of circumstances.  We made the best of the best and the best of the worst by staying connected (or “linked” as we like to say) to our dear friends in safe and healthy ways.  As we face this new year, we know that we will handle whatever circumstances occur in the best possible way.  How can we do that?  Because we’re Lady-Links…we care and we will always give our dear friends our very best.

We are looking forward to this new year…looking to provide our best in every way.  But to move forward, it is good to look back to see how we managed to give our best during the worst of times:

We were restricted from making personal visits to our dear friends during the height of COVID, but the Lady-Links could meet as a group if we did so outside while wearing masks, staying six feet apart, and limiting our time together to 30 minutes or less.  We even had to disinfect the surfaces we used.  At least this provided the best way to send things to our dear friends to let them know we were thinking of them, helping to dispel the effects of loneliness  during their isolation.

When it was considered safe to meet inside…still wearing masks and social distancing and with a time limit of 30 minutes…we created more projects to send to our dear friends.

We found that to make the best of the worst  isn’t really so bad. In fact, it brought out the best in us:  we became creative in ways we never knew existed!

So…..we are looking ahead (keeping the past two years in mind) knowing that this next year will be the best ever!  At least, the Lady-Links will make it that way because that’s what we do.  Love never forgets how to turn the worst into the best.

As Lady-Links we look for ways to engage our dear friends in an activity or project that has meaning to them. We want to make each moment of our weekly visits matter in the lives of our dear friends in several ways.  We want them to enjoy what they are doing, and we want to help them feel that their lives are special.

Prior to visiting, we take time to find out from family members what interests our dear friends had before they began their journey into cognitive decline.  Our visits are planned with those previous interests and hobbies in mind.  This serves as a “link” to their past that hopefully helps them connect to a memory that matters.

Keeping “linked” is what the Lady-Links do at each visit….linking through love and laughter to enrich the lives of our dear friends.  This is often done by linking to a memory.  But when that doesn’t happen,  we don’t get discouraged….we just find another way to connect… by doing something we call “linking in the moment.”

We can talk about what we see in a picture….

We can talk about how pretty a piece of jewelry is…

We can talk about how lovely the flowers are…

We can talk about what the craft represents….

We can talk about how we’re being silly and having fun…

What matters most is that our dear friend feels that she is loved, valued, and has a group of friends who truly enjoy being with her. Whether it’s in her memory or “in the moment” we want each visit to matter in special ways.

Lady-Links….Linking in the “Then” and “Now” because that helps make “Moments that Matter”

Have you ever seen a green glass pumpkin?  I hadn’t either until I was one of the Lady-Links at a Show and Tell visit to a dear friend recently. I was intrigued, as was our dear friend, at the pumpkin and  the story behind it.  The Lady-Link who brought it talked about her “green glass” collection and how she came to buy this hand-blown piece by an artist who is well known in his local community in a small New England village.  This inspired conversation about pumpkins (real or otherwise), things that are made of glass, and things that are usually the color green.  Perfect.  That was exactly our “purpose”…..to engage our dear friend in conversation.

Show and Tell is a way to connect with our dear friends by sparking a memory from the past and/or eliciting a response based on the “here and now.”  For example, a high school charm bracelet was used to remind our dear friend of her high school activities.  Seeing the bracelet, she contributed to the conversation about what was typical to do “back in the day” in high school.  As for the “here and now” she said the bracelet was pretty and should continue to be worn.  That led to other discussions about what jewelry was popular now and “back then.”  (Remember wearing your boyfriend’s “ring on a chain around your neck” when you went steady?) That led to a fun discussion about boyfriends, the cars they had and where we went on dates.  This kind of “Girl Talk” always brings lots of giggles which is exactly what we want when we visit our dear friends…love, laughter and fun in an activity that keeps all of us engaged.

Jewelry is always a good item to bring as it fits so well into both the “then” and “now” categories, plus there’s always a good story behind each piece of jewelry that can lead to opening more topics of discussion….who gave it to us or where/when did we get it, where was it worn, what the piece represents, how often we wear it….and the list is endless.  A great way to engage a person with cognitive issues.

Prompting memories that help our dear friends engage in conversation is made easier when the object can be held.  Our Show and Tell items are selected to be easy to hold and passed around between the Lady-Links and our dear friends. Memories from childhood are ones that seem to remain longest, so items that connect in one way or another to our dear friend’s early years will always inspire the most conversation

Music

Antiques

Things we Did as Children  (Remember weaving these on a loom?)

Fine China or Display Pieces

Items from a Garden (We actually grew this cotton in our community’s garden area.)

 

Things We Collect.

From Holiday Items to Hobby Items and everything in between, Show and Tell is a great conversation starter.  Plus it’s a sure way to form connections, past and present.

The Lady-Links always find ways to “link” through love and laughter, and Show and Tell visits are one of the best ways to do just that!

 

 

The Lady-Links and their families enjoyed their annual Christmas event making ornaments for our dear friends and other residents who reside in the continuing care facility of our retirement community.  We know how to put the “merry” in Merry Christmas with fun activities, cute decorations, and delicious treats made by one of our own Lady-Links.  All in all, we made over 100 Christmas and holiday ornaments to share with others.

Our Crafts Coordinator who managed this huge undertaking for us!

We are thankful for the husband of our very first dear friend who hosts our Christmas event each year.  This picture is from that first Christmas Lady-Links celebration.

Our host and our Lady-Links Administrative Coordinator.  Merry Christmas to all.

The Lady-Links care about their dear friends, those ladies in our community who have some type of cognitive decline.   Understanding Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia is central to our planning for ways to engage our dear friends whether in person or through a remote activity.  We realize that isolation is one of the worst things for brain health so we are creative in the ways to stay connected.  Making and sending cards is something we enjoy doing and our dear friends enjoy receiving, and serves as a way to help dispel feelings of isolation.

There’s something about opening an envelope, taking out a hand-made card and reading a handwritten note on it that makes anyone feel appreciated, especially our dear friends who often feel lonely and isolated simply because of the nature of their cognitive issue.

Cards help us connect on an emotional level like feeling special that we were in someone’s thoughts.

Cards help us stay connected through common interests such as seasons of the year or special holidays. 

Writing a personal message to our dear friends helps them develop feelings of self-worth.

Getting together to make the cards brings twofold joy…joy in the fellowship of the activity and joy in knowing that our dear friends will be encouraged when they receive them.  It’s our way of dispelling feelings of isolation in our dear friends while helping keep their minds stimulated and active.

The Lady-Links visit dear friends, those ladies in our community who are in some type of cognitive decline.  It can be anything from Mild Cognitive Impairment to Alzheimer’s or other related types of dementia.  To be effective in relating to our dear friends, we find that an understanding of cognitive issues is necessary.  We are fortunate that our retirement community has informative seminars available, not just to us but to all our residents.

Regardless of the type of dementia, socialization is important in the life of the person with cognitive issues.  Socialization can slow symptoms of memory loss, help with self-esteem, and even boost brain health.  In fact, socialization is considered one of the pillars in the treatment of dementia.  The Lady-Links are trained to engage their dear friends in social activities, including conversation.  Knowing how important socialization is to our dear friends encourages the Lady-Links in their efforts to reach out to as many ladies as possible, establishing weekly visits that have such benefits.  The training sessions we attend occur periodically and are often a “lunch and learn” type of seminar.

Learning as we go…the Lady-Links are always looking to increase our own awareness of Alzheimer’s and related types of dementia. We offer help to the families of our dear friends, in that we make being with their loved ones and engaging them in enjoyable activities available on a regular basis.

Socialization with plenty of love and laughter sprinkled in….that’s what we do best!

 

Do the Lady-Links count cards?  Absolutely!  We count it as joy each time we make a card, knowing the benefits that our cards bring.   Since our first visit in 2013 with a dear friend, a lovely lady in our community with Alzheimer’s, making cards has been a very special part of our activities.  In fact, our best estimate is that we’ve made over 1000 cards designed to bring joy to our dear friends and the Lady-Links while we make them, and joy to those in our community who receive them.

These “card connections” as we like to call them are great ways to keep our dear friends engaged in an activity that is fun as well as meaningful.  This  gives an opportunity for our dear friends to feel a sense of altruism knowing that the cards will be used to encourage others.  “Doing for others” is an important concept that often slips away as the dementia progresses in our dear friends’ lives.  It brings the Lady-Links joy to continue to help these sweet ladies stay “linked” to that which is meaningful, such as thinking of others.

Recently, a group of Lady-Links met to write “thinking of you” messages in the fall-themed cards that were colored during visits with one of our dear friends.

We created colorful labels that were used to make the envelopes containing our cards look extra special.

The joy of making and giving these cards throughout the years counts most to us! Here’s just a small sample of what we’ve done:

 

 

Counting cards…with love and laughter…always brings joy.