Lady Links

What do you have in your home that helps tell your story?  Is it a Lone Ranger toy that reminds you of the Saturday movie matinees you saw with your friends when you were a child?  Is it a pocket watch that you remember your father using to help you learn to tell time?  Perhaps it is jewelry that came from a favorite family member or pictures that were part of your childhood home?  What memories do you have that are sparked by those objects, and how did they become important enough in your life that you saved them?  The answer to those questions is the basis for the Show and Tell visits to our dear friends, those ladies in our retirement community who are in various stages of cognitive decline.

As we tell the story behind what we bring, we engage our dear friends in conversation about their memories that are triggered by our show and tell items.  They can relate with stories of their own about what movies they remember seeing as children or how they learned to write and tell time.  About what jewelry they wore or what they remember their mothers or grandmothers wearing.  About famous artwork they saw or what they had displayed in their homes.  The objects serve a purpose…to see something and to hold it brings back memories much more than just talking about it.  Plus it gives us connections as we recall similar memories and experiences.

Sharing something meaningful from our past helps us tell our stories in ways that bring joy and connections to those who listen.  What hidden treasures do you have in your closet that you might share with a friend or loved one in cognitive decline?  Perhaps you’ll find that your story is just what someone else needed to hear.  At our Lady-Links visits, the treasure is not in the monetary value of the object but in the positive emotional connections that the object brings to all of us who are there.  We share because we care.

The Lady-Links are committed to keeping connected with their dear friends, those ladies in our community in various stages of cognitive decline.  We don’t let something like record-breaking triple digits nor record-breaking ice storms prevent us from doing what we do best….sharing love and laughter with these precious ladies.  We just find ways to celebrate each season and make the best of the weather, regardless of extremes!

Lately, we’ve added coloring activities to our visits.  We’ve had fun with summer-themed pictures.

As we color, the conversation is filled with memories of childhood summer activities: eating watermelon and other in-season fruits, having picnics, playing outdoors, and swimming.  We also love to talk about summer fashions: pedal pushers, sleeveless cotton tops and sandals.  Summer is always a time for vacations and trips, and we had plenty to share about favorite locations.

Remember the nursery rhyme that goes something like this:

“Whether the weather is hot.  Whether the weather is cold.

We’ll weather the weather. Whatever the weather, whether we like it or not!”

 

Whatever the weather….the Lady-Links will be there.  And we’ll always have plenty to talk and laugh about!

The Lady-Links have so much fun at our Show and Tell visits with our dear friends, those ladies in our retirement community who are in various stages of cognitive decline.  Each Lady-Link brings an item for us to see and to learn the story behind it.  You never know what you’re going to get!

From boats to butterflies….

Even an artifact designed to bring hope and healing….

From hope and healing to home… (our home state of Texas)

From home to hidden treasures…. (look closely and you’ll see the head of a dragon)

It all comes down to this……a delightful visit that keeps us all engaged and wanting more!  You never know what treasures will be revealed, what stories will be shared, what laughter will erupt, and what love will fill our hearts!  Lady-Links….friends visiting friends….it’s what we do.

 

The Lady-Links are committed to establishing and developing friendships with ladies in our retirement community who are in various stages of cognitive decline.  We do that through weekly visits engaging these dear friends in activities they enjoy.  We have been doing this since 2013 and find that it benefits not only the dear friends but us as well.  We find joy during our visits which are filled with love and laughter as we interact with one another.  Friends visiting friends….that’s what the Lady-Links do!  To recognize that commitment, we designed a pin that is presented to each Lady-Link after she has been a part of our group for six months.  We recently had a Pinning Ceremony for twelve new Lady-Links!

The event began with delicious cookies prepared by one of our very own Lady-Links.

We had 35 Lady-Links who attended this event, and there was plenty of love and laughter to go around!

The pinning ceremony began with each new Lady-Link receiving her pin.

The event ended with sharing from the Lady-Links about how the visits provide meaningful moments for everyone involved.

Our pin says it all…Lady-Links care and we show it by linking love with one another and with our dear friends.

 

 

When you have a dear friend who served in World War II, there’s so many stories to share.  All it takes is something to spark the memories, and the  recollections begin.  We love helping to inspire memories and conversations with our dear friends, those lovely ladies in our retirement community who are in various stages of cognitive decline.  All it takes is bringing an object or two that will help each dear friend begin a trip down memory lane covering topics from World War II to  family to friends to faith.

Our dear friend was a code breaker during World War II.  Women code breakers played a crucial part in winning the war, deciphering long messages looking for patterns that might reveal a hidden meaning.  Some World War II historians speculate that the war would have continued for two more years had it not been for the women code breakers.

The Lady-Links know how to use almost any object to inspire memories which lead to conversations that we all enjoy.

A Precious Moments figurine given to one of our Lady-Links by a granddaughter to let her know that her first great-grandchild was on the way created lots of sharing about family.

Painted Ukrainian eggs brought memories of faith, family and friends.

Stories are important to share because they keep memories alive and help us connect to one another.  Sharing stories helps us re-affirm our values, brings authenticity to our lives, and helps us feel we’re contributing to the understanding of those who are listening.  The Lady-Links have benefitted from the stories we’ve shared with our dear friends and what, in return, they’ve been prompted to share with us. Our dear friends have shared memories that have inspired us and taught us.  We have a great appreciation of the life experiences of our dear friends and a feeling of satisfaction as we help them recall meaningful moments from their past.  The more we share, the more we connect, and the Lady-Links know how important those connections (links) are in our lives.   In fact, that’s why it’s in our name:  Lady-Links!  We hope you find a loved one or friend in cognitive decline and help them share their stories with you.  Your life will be enriched and so will theirs as you listen and respond.

 

The Lady-Links do know how to have fun!  Who else but the Lady-Links could bring a ceramic mushroom to a Show and Tell visit and find reason to laugh so hard that tears came to our eyes?  We know how to involve our dear friends, those ladies in our community in various stages of cognitive decline, with entertaining, engaging activities each time we visit.

In this case, the spotlight was on a ceramic mushroom created by one of our Lady-Links who is an artist.  Now that would be interesting enough…but the Lady-Links take it a step farther by telling the story behind what we bring.  With this ceramic creation, the sharing involved a legend that tells of giant mushrooms long ago who grew all over the earth and had a system of communication with one another. Mushrooms “talking” with each other?  That’s when the giggles began…at the idea of a talking mushroom.  We couldn’t leave it at that, could you?  We decided to speculate on what one mushroom would say to another mushroom….and of course we came up with an answer!

“Help me….they’re coming to pick me and throw me in a pot for dinner.”  Oh well…. (are you laughing?)…maybe you had to be there….but we laughed and laughed and laughed, and had the best time!

We know that laughing together makes us all feel better and even energizes us to a certain extent. The Lady-Links aren’t alone in our understanding that laughter is the best medicine.   Research supports the benefits of laughter in these ways:

• It draws us together.
• It boosts our mood.
• It triggers healthy physical and emotional changes in our bodies.
• It keeps us focused and alert.
• It lightens our burdens.
• It eases anxiety and tension.
• It brings joy and hope into our lives.

Even without the supporting research, the Lady-Links know the value of laughter just from what we’ve experienced.  That’s why we bring love and laughter to every visit we make to these sweet ladies we call our dear friends.  Mushroom merriment with love and laughter…it was a great visit!

 

Music touches each one of us….it can bring moments of joy, calmness, nostalgia and peace.  It can relieve stress and anxiety.  Music can tap into our memory banks and fill us with a sense of special times from long ago.  Music can also “pick us up” and help us become enthusiastic about whatever it is we’re doing.  The Lady-Links know that research documents the positive effects of music on their dear friends, those ladies in our community in various stages of cognitive decline.  As a result, we have several ways to engage our dear friends in musical activities.  Recently we tried something new…a harpist to accompany us while we sang familiar hymns.

The result was as expected…a time of great joy with stories shared of musical experiences from all of our lives.

There’s no doubt that “music boosts our mood” and the Lady-Links know just how to provide that type of experience as they visit their dear friends.

Travel time memories are great ways to connect with our dear friends.  Most of us have something in common about traveling whether it’s the destination we share or the way in which we got there.  These “links” are fun to discover as we recall places we’ve been and things we’ve seen.

Recently some of our Lady-Links made a return visit to a dear friend to follow up on adventures to destinations they had in common.  Thanks to our Lady-Links who are good listeners and look for ways to find shared experiences, we had fun talking about trips to the Grand Canyon and to Norway…places that everyone had visited.

Cards, pictures, souvenirs, and newspaper articles….all brought back memories of our activities there.

At our Lady-Links Show and Tell visits, we have our own method of “Arm Chair Travel” that makes for a great time whether or not we decide to leave home again.

 

There’s no doubt about it….life is a journey.  “It’s not where you end up but how you got there” is often quoted as motivation to make the best of life no matter the circumstances.  By the way, that quote is attributed to an “unknown source” but I think any of us could have said it!  As Lady-Links, we’ve seen some difficult circumstances in the lives our our dear friends, those precious ladies in our community who are in various stages of cognitive impairment. Alzheimer’s and other related dementias fill our dear friends’ journeys with lots of difficulties: memory loss, confusion, repetitive speech and actions, restlessness, loss of communication skills, and more. So we talk in our training sessions about how to make that journey a little bit better for each of our dear friends during our weekly visits with them.  At some point in their lives, there was joy in their journey.  We look for ways to bring back some of that joy on the difficult road they’ve found themselves traveling.

Restoring Joy to the Journey

1.  We smile.  In Proverbs 17:22 it says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine….”  A smile conveys that we enjoy being with our dear friends which helps them feel valued and appreciated.  There’s joy in each and every smile we give.  Medical professionals make it clear that socialization with our dear friends brings benefits that no medicine can.

2.  We engage them in activities they can still enjoy.  This gives our dear friends purpose, confidence, self-assurance, and the feeling of doing something productive.  There’s joy in connecting with one another, and we do that through crafts, games, conversations, celebrations, and strategies we use for sharing memories.

When we do those two simple things, we are certain that we are adding joy to their journey while they are “getting there” even if it is a destination they wouldn’t have selected if they were given a choice.

But isn’t that what friends are for?  Helping each other to make the best of their journey even when the traveling is rough.  We call these sweet ladies our “dear friends” for a reason.  They are dear to us and they are our friends.  Their journeys are our journeys, and we are committed to bringing joy however and wherever their journey leads.

Celebrating the season of Spring has always been a delightful project for the Lady-Links and their dear friends, those ladies with various types of cognitive decline.  We’ve made flower arrangements, crafts, and cards as we talk about the beauty in nature that this season brings.

Something about seeing nature at its finest inspires conversation and brings back childhood memories of May Day, picking flowers for a bouquet to give our mothers or our teachers, and getting to play outdoors after being inside for the winter.

The Lady-Links enjoy visiting and interacting with their dear friends, and Spring provides many opportunities to do just that!