Lady Links

There’s no doubt about it….life is a journey.  “It’s not where you end up but how you got there” is often quoted as motivation to make the best of life no matter the circumstances.  By the way, that quote is attributed to an “unknown source” but I think any of us could have said it!  As Lady-Links, we’ve seen some difficult circumstances in the lives our our dear friends, those precious ladies in our community who are in various stages of cognitive impairment. Alzheimer’s and other related dementias fill our dear friends’ journeys with lots of difficulties: memory loss, confusion, repetitive speech and actions, restlessness, loss of communication skills, and more. So we talk in our training sessions about how to make that journey a little bit better for each of our dear friends during our weekly visits with them.  At some point in their lives, there was joy in their journey.  We look for ways to bring back some of that joy on the difficult road they’ve found themselves traveling.

Restoring Joy to the Journey

1.  We smile.  In Proverbs 17:22 it says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine….”  A smile conveys that we enjoy being with our dear friends which helps them feel valued and appreciated.  There’s joy in each and every smile we give.  Medical professionals make it clear that socialization with our dear friends brings benefits that no medicine can.

2.  We engage them in activities they can still enjoy.  This gives our dear friends purpose, confidence, self-assurance, and the feeling of doing something productive.  There’s joy in connecting with one another, and we do that through crafts, games, conversations, celebrations, and strategies we use for sharing memories.

When we do those two simple things, we are certain that we are adding joy to their journey while they are “getting there” even if it is a destination they wouldn’t have selected if they were given a choice.

But isn’t that what friends are for?  Helping each other to make the best of their journey even when the traveling is rough.  We call these sweet ladies our “dear friends” for a reason.  They are dear to us and they are our friends.  Their journeys are our journeys, and we are committed to bringing joy however and wherever their journey leads.

Celebrating the season of Spring has always been a delightful project for the Lady-Links and their dear friends, those ladies with various types of cognitive decline.  We’ve made flower arrangements, crafts, and cards as we talk about the beauty in nature that this season brings.

Something about seeing nature at its finest inspires conversation and brings back childhood memories of May Day, picking flowers for a bouquet to give our mothers or our teachers, and getting to play outdoors after being inside for the winter.

The Lady-Links enjoy visiting and interacting with their dear friends, and Spring provides many opportunities to do just that!

 

Memories of  good times are fun to recall.  At our Lady-Links visits we make an effort to connect with our dear friends, those ladies in our community who are in various stages of cognitive decline, through shared past experiences.  Since we are of the same generation, most of us have memories of  childhood that are based on similar experiences.  We remember such things as special events, special dresses, or special times with our mothers.

Although we might not remember what we had for yesterday’s lunch, memories of our childhood seems to stay with us longer than any others.  We remember what it was like to live in an age of playing outside in the summer until the porch lights came on.  We played Hide and Seek, Red Rover, Mother May I?, and Red Light/ Green Light. We learned to cook from our Mothers or Grandmothers, and we played “dress up” with their old clothes and jewelry.

These experiences are some of the “best parts” of our childhood, and it’s fun to recall these similar memories during our visits with our dear friends.

Sometimes we talk about typical things girls did “back then” like making potholders using a loom, learning to sew or do various types of needlework.

There’s always something special about remembering what our mothers taught us, and we have so many common experiences that we never run out of stories to tell….especially if we have an “object” such as an old recipe book to help jog those memories.

Childhood memories are some of the most delightful memories that we have.  It’s fun to recall them and find common experiences among us.  That’s the best part…the way they connect us.  The Lady-Links take joy in “linking” to their dear friends in this way and by adding the special love and laughter they bring to each visit,  they get to the “best part” with ease.

 

 

 

 

 

The Lady-Links know what it means to share.  They share their time, their love, their praises, and their stories with the dear friends they visit on a regular basis.  They do this because they sincerely care about the ladies in their community who are in various stages of cognitive decline.  Sharing is just a way of keeping connected, and we all know how important connections are among friends.  Each sharing session involves telling the story behind an item that is meaningful to the Lady-Link who brought it in such a way that will promote conversation and memories with her dear friend.

Sharing improves happiness levels for both the Lady-Link and her dear friend.  To make others a part of  the pleasant events of our life’s journey is a wonderful way to connect. It makes us happy to see the positive reactions from our dear friends as we share what is meaningful to us.

Sharing shows that we care.  We care about spending time with our dear friends, and we care about the connections we make as we engage them in a “Show and Tell” activity.  Giving our time and attention during our visits to our dear friends, sprinkled with love and laughter, in shared experiences is friendship at its best!

 

 

The Lady-Links celebrate seasons and holidays with joy.  Such events provide an opportunity to share memories and observations which bring out the joy in our conversations.  In addition, the related craft projects we make with our dear friends are fun and meaningful and provide joy to the residents in our continuing care facility who receive them.

Our Easter crafts throughout the years include inspirational faith-based messages and spring-themed messages of hope and new life.

Joy…that’s what the season is all about…and the Lady-Links too!

A good start to any event helps with the success of that event.  But what happens when the timelines begin to run together and the start and finish lines blur? That’s the feeling that many of our dear friends have as they journey through their walk with various stages of cognitive decline.  When time stretches out and there’s no definition to the days, a visit from the Lady-Links can make a difference.  It’s all in how we start!

Start Here……..

Our visits start with an attitude of cheerfulness, a plan of engagement, and the confidence that we will make a positive difference starting from the moment we enter our dear friend’s home.  Not only do we have a good start to each visit, but we give each dear friend a fresh start by helping her change her perspective even if it is only for a short while.

A fresh start…rejuvenates, reconnects, recharges and renews our spirits.

We plan for ways to engage our dear friends that will refresh their spirits and ours too!  Take, for example, something as simple as scarves….it’s fun to look at the design of colors, patterns and textures….and to talk about how to wear them.  Plus that inspires memories of when we wore them and what we were doing at the time.

Suddenly, we have a fresh start….a new focus of attention, a new memory brought to life that was previously forgotten,  and a new connection of similar ideas and trends we all enjoy.

A fresh start can give a boost of energy and enthusiasm as well.  Our dear friends engage in our activities with an increased level of motivation and joy according to their spouses and/or caregivers.  We’ve seen that for ourselves….the smiles, the body language, the twinkle in their eyes… let us know that our visits are providing a fresh start regardless of what has happened previously in the day.  Whether it is with a scarf or a Precious Moments collectable, the Lady-Links know how to bring joy to each visit that fills their dear friend with an eagerness to be a part of a group experience.

When the visit ends, we have been told that the positive feelings and improved attitudes of our dear friends will linger long after we’re gone.

A fresh start….a way to begin again regardless of what happened previously.  Cognitive impairment brings many challenges to the lives of our dear friends and their families. From one day to the next, even from one hour to the next, they are faced with difficulties of daily living.   What a joy it is to bring a way to rejuvenate, reconnect, recharge and renew their spirits with a fresh start. One day there will be an end to Alzheimer’s and related cognitive issues, but until then, the Lady-Links will bring a fresh start to each visit we make.

 

 

 

Smiles!  We love to see them.  As Lady-Links we find ways to bring out the smiles of our dear friends, those ladies in our community with various types of cognitive decline.  Our Show and Tell visits are some of our favorite times with our dear friends because the smiles just keep coming as we “show” and “tell” about something that is meaningful or interesting to us.

Cute dog pictures along with stories about how we have fun with them are sure to bring smiles.

Of course, we must provide a wardrobe for our dogs…..scarves, hats, sweaters, jackets….Who wouldn’t want a well-dressed dog???? We laughed about how some of the dogs in our community are better dressed than we are!!!!

Switching topics from accessorizing our dogs to accessorizing ourselves is another way to bring out a smile! We always enjoy showing special pieces of jewelry that are meaningful to us and sharing the story behind each piece.

Putting on an apron, getting out a 60 year old cookbook,  and holding hot pads made on a loom like we did when we were girls brought out more big smiles!  We laughed about our “failures” in the kitchen during our early years of marriage….tuna noodle casserole was practically fool-proof, so that one always worked, but other culinary delights required more time and skill!

What item do you have that you can use as a “springboard” for conversation starters and memory catchers with your friends or loved ones in various stages of cognitive decline?  The smiles are there….you just have to get them started!

 

We all want to enjoy healthy living for as long as we can.  Research supports the idea that good relationships are a part of healthy living.  Because the Lady-Links know that connecting with others can help with mental and emotional well-being, our weekly visits to ladies in various stages of cognitive decline are designed to engage these dear friends  in enjoyable activities.  In addition to what we have seen firsthand, research has found that there are cognitive benefits from having enjoyable social interactions for those with Alzheimer’s and other related types of dementia.

Our visits are designed to be enjoyable for our dear friends and for our Lady-Links.  We form sincere bonds of friendship that promote positive social interaction.  We realize that Alzheimer’s and related dementias are progressive, but we also have seen evidence of short-term spikes of cognitive ability during our visits as we engage our dear friends in activities.  Our trained Lady-Links know how to encourage communication by asking the right types of questions or prompting memories through our teamwork in games, crafts, music, show and tell activities or special events.

Good relationships established through our friendship visits are part of a socialization process that benefits all of us. The researchers know that and the Lady-Links do too!

 

 

 

 

 

Two training sessions are required for ladies who want to become Lady-Links.  The first session deals with the basics of our Lady-Links program, plus information on dementia, and concludes with tips for successful communication with someone in cognitive decline.  The second session covers specifics on the visits we make, including what is expected before, during, and after the visit.  We incorporate the best of training techniques with technology-based learning, instructor-led interactive sessions, coaching/mentoring, printed materials, and role playing to make our training meaningful, inspirational and fun.

Our training was improved this year with the addition of an 11-minute video on “Understanding Alzheimer’s and Related Dementias” which was made by the Medical Director of our retirement community.

The video explains that dementia is a general term for symptoms like decline in memory, reasoning or other thinking skills.  Alzheimer’s is a specific brain disease that accounts for 60-80% of dementia causes.  Other types of dementia are discussed such as vascular dementia and Lewy Body dementia.  The stages of Alzheimer’s are included as well as documentation of  the importance of socialization in the lives of those with dementia.

Happy Talk, a presentation that targets verbal and non-verbal communication among friends, explains that the goals for Lady-Links who interact with their dear friends are very different from the communication goals that a family member or caregiver would have.  Our focus is on engaging our dear friends in enjoyable activities….we are not responsible for feeding, clothing, or basic daily living skills….so our training in communication is geared toward how to “celebrate the joy of conversation” by keeping what she can do, not what she needs to do, in mind.

Our training includes time for questions and answers, and time to hear insights about our program and the visits we make from current Lady-Links.

With role playing on Do’s and Don’ts of communication, how to engage our dear friends in making a craft or play a game, and how to socialize with our dear friends when we see them in and about our community apart from our visits….well, our training covers a lot of ground!

Each new Lady-Link is scheduled for dear friend visits with other current Lady-Links who serve as  mentors through the first several months.  Additional training occurs throughout the year through this website and with the speakers on cognitive issues our community schedules.  We have great support from our community’s Administrative Staff, our Medical Center, and our Resident Life Staff.  Our program is about to complete 9 years of enriching the lives of our dear friends with love and laughter from the compassionate ladies who are called “Lady-Links.”  Thank you Lady-Links for the joy you bring to others.

Only love can account for 28 ladies braving an ice storm with wind chills down to 5 degrees to get together to make over 150 valentines to send to residents and dear friends in our continuing care community.  Full disclosure ….no one walked outside to get here… but nevertheless, if the truth were known, we have plenty of Lady-Links who would have tackled snow, sleet, ice or rain if needed.  That’s how strong the bonds of friendship love are between the Lady-Links and their dear friends, those ladies in our retirement community who are in various stages of cognitive decline.  But the worst we had to “tackle” was wearing masks due to continuing COVID restrictions.  The masks cover up the big smiles on all our faces but you can see the smiles in our eyes.

Our craft coordinator had all the supplies arranged for creating 150 unique valentines to share.  Each Lady-Link added her own creative touches, choosing from some 500 + pieces to come up with original designs.

What began in pieces became masterpieces.

Lots of talking, laughing and love are always a part of our events and visits.

 

It was a LOVELY time, despite the weather, because there was plenty of LOVE to brighten any day!

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Despite Icy Weather

The Lady-Links’ Love Shines Through